it feels like

I’m drowning;

in my thoughts,

in my feelings,

in my memories.

It’s like there’s these waves,

swells of doubt

and fear

and sadness that

swallow me whole

and spit me out

just so I relive the trauma.


I hate it,

and sometimes

I don’t.


I wonder

how have I managed

to stay afloat

this long?

And then I think

I need a hiatus.

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