Hiatus

Sometimes

it feels like

I’m drowning;

in my thoughts,

in my feelings,

in my memories.

It’s like there’s these waves,

swells of doubt

and fear

and sadness that

swallow me whole

and spit me out

just so I relive the trauma.

Sometimes

I hate it,

and sometimes

I don’t.

Sometimes

I wonder

how have I managed

to stay afloat

this long?

And then I think

I need a hiatus.