The alcohol burns my throat as it goes down,
signs the drink should ease the pain soon.
Songs with subtle piano fill the holes in my chest,
tug at the strings that cling to my tattered heart.
I let the melody serenade me as I sink lower,
into a bathtub full of scorched water and broken body.
There’s no hesitation when I slip beneath the surface,
my eyes as wide open as they were eight years ago…
It’s a trauma I beg my mind to let me forget;
I’ve spent so long pretending I am alright,
but I am not.
I let myself feel, give myself the chance to grieve;
just for tonight.
When my lungs burn and beg for air I come back up,
repeat the cycle.
Always repeating the cycle.