I’m really struggling and I don’t know why. Wait a minute. That’s a lie. I know exactly what’s been weighing me down. I’m just not sure how to talk about it–
or if I really want to.
I tried to reach out to loved ones yesterday, when my mind felt manic and my chest physically hurt from my rapid heartbeat, hoping it would be the positivity I needed…
One ignored my messages, one just wouldn’t understand, and the other gave me no support at all, which was unusual and heartbreaking to me…
That made me feel worse.
Like everyone is sick of their sad sibling, sad daughter, sad best friend, sad girlfriend… I would be too if I had a friend like me, though, so I get it.
Hell, I’m sick of myself.
So now I’m lying on my bedroom floor, in total darkness, listening to absolute silence, begging myself not to give in again because I’ve been doing so fucking good.
I gave in.