Crossed Boundaries

There's a chill in the air when you move closer, and I wonder if you can feel it too. I hope you understand I'm trying here. I've only ever thought of you as security, and now I'm left with a shattered image and another man who's just... human. Excuse me while I learn to love … Continue reading Crossed Boundaries →

▪︎

I'm not the one with the problem, and yet I've learned the lesson: Love is only as solid as the other person makes it.

Blackout

There's no words inside my head to write about, but anxiety still makes my hands shake, still makes my stomach twist into knots; How is it possible that I'm at a loss of words while in a world full of feelings?

Black and White

My attempt to gently start the conversation, to give you the opportunity to assure me, to prove to me you understand the damage done, ends in, "You know what? I'm not sorry." Yeah, that sounds like love to me.

One Week Later, and I’m a Mess

Why is it that you get to make the "mistake," get to disregard the boundaries set, prioritize yourself with disgusting, selfish desires and I get to bear the consequences of you actions. I get to stare at myself in the mirror, comparing, criticizing everything about me that I started to love, repeating words you wrote … Continue reading One Week Later, and I’m a Mess →

No Longer A Home

I was so excited to call this new place our home, to create memories and grow our family, to look back to this place and know it brought us peace. This place is no longer my happy place, and I no longer look forward to the drive home. Instead, I find excuses to be anywhere … Continue reading No Longer A Home →

Fuck

What sucks about the damn thing is that just as I let down my final walls, allowed you space in my life I'd never given anyone else, just as I let me guard down and convinced myself to trust wholeheartedly... you decide to betray me. I can't wrap my head around that.

Opaque

[Repost] Sometimes I feel like I live in a glass house with opaque walls. From a distance, it's just a blur of whatever this house contains, But come closer and you'll make out what's happening inside. My life is both hidden in plain view and vividly on display. I both hate it and beg for … Continue reading Opaque →

The Nightmare Doesn’t Fucking Stop

I have this recurring nightmare. It's the same dream over and over again. You're no where to be found and after the panic sets in I realize that's how you want it to be. You've left, cut off contact, disappeared. I wake up at the part where I finally get it, only to fall back … Continue reading The Nightmare Doesn’t Fucking Stop →

Words, Phrases, and an Inability to Understand

"I hope you don't look back on this moment, and wish it had stayed the same as the first two years." "I don't want to lose a piece of you because of this." "I can't imagine going one day without you. I can't lose you." "I don't want to lose your trust, your heart, your … Continue reading Words, Phrases, and an Inability to Understand →