It feels like I'm reaching out, grasping at everything I touch, begging everyone to stick around no matter how much they're hurting me. (Or maybe I'm hurting them.) I feel manic in my head, total mess, unhinged or unglued at the core, just begging the lights inside my skull to turn off so I can … Continue reading I Think I Cried Wolf One Too Many Times
Tag: abuse survivor
There's So Much Left To Say:
And I've put it in this poem for you. [Repost from 2020] I've spent months swallowing the burning feeling in my throat, letting it create a fire in my belly until the eruption of feelings and words I've never said make their way to my mouth, with nowhere to spew the words out... Until now. … Continue reading There's So Much Left To Say:
Traumemory
Shh... Quiet your mind. Inner peace is so hard to find. Feel the feelings, think the thoughts, and hope by morning you've forgot where mouths have been and hands have hit, how loud your head is when you sit and think all those traumatic thoughts. Just hope come sunrise you've forgot.
The Heat of Chaos
[Repost from September 2nd, 2020] A flashback to the final night. July 2019: I am not okay. I am a total mess back on the floor of a home that has been drenched in lighter fluid and intentionally set on fire. The walls are hot with flame, the linoleum is melting under me, but I … Continue reading The Heat of Chaos
Majority Letdown
A male coworker gets in the elevator with me and immediately, I tense up. I know what you're thinking. Not all men are bad. You don't need to worry. And I don't disagree; not all are bad. But how am I to judge who is safe? I didn't think my male friends were unsafe, until … Continue reading Majority Letdown
The Thunderstorm Cannot Break Me
They say the odds of being struck by lightning twice are in the millions, but it seems like lightning keeps finding me just fine; in the bedroom of a boy I thought I knew, in the arms of a man I thought I could trust, in my own bedroom where I once felt safe. Everywhere … Continue reading The Thunderstorm Cannot Break Me