Swim in the sad, hold your breath, see how far you sink before the air leaves you too; miserable bitch.
It feels like I'm reaching out, grasping at everything I touch, begging everyone to stick around no matter how much they're hurting me. (Or maybe I'm hurting them.) I feel manic in my head, total mess, unhinged or unglued at the core, just begging the lights inside my skull to turn off so I can … Continue reading I Think I Cried Wolf One Too Many Times
I just wanted to enjoy you a little longer. I wanted to carry you to the very end. I wanted a reminder that all is good, at a time when all feels so very, very bad. And yet, I'm still lying in this bed, avoiding the mountain of what I need to do, while bleeding … Continue reading Little
I'm different because of you. I used to think it was a curse; a defect in the aftermath of us. I convinced myself it made me weak to be damaged by your time in my life. Don't get me wrong, if I could I would change how I jump at sounds and how I wake … Continue reading Value in the Violence
I'm mad at God right now. Or maybe He's mad at me, cause its been pretty fucking silent on the other side for quite some time. I got in my car, drove for hours last night, screamed at Him until my voice gave out and then cried out noises that broke my own heart. Why … Continue reading Faithless
Shh... Quiet your mind. Inner peace is so hard to find. Feel the feelings, think the thoughts, and hope by morning you've forgot where mouths have been and hands have hit, how loud your head is when you sit and think all those traumatic thoughts. Just hope come sunrise you've forgot.
Words spark wildfires inside my mind and trail through the fibers of my soul. I don't bother to address the flames, as I know I am not equipped to handle such a blaze. Inside I sit in the thick of it, engulfed by red and orange light that sears my happiness. To you it's mere … Continue reading Aglow
Sad doesn't even describe it, when the neat little lines designed to make me feel fail to make me feel anything. Maybe this is depression or maybe just heartbreak. I don't know anymore. All I know is that the words that stung the most left the mouths of those who claim to love me. And … Continue reading Love Doesn’t Make Me Forget
"Well, obviously I find them attractive." I know I asked the question, but I didn't expect that to be your answer. I will never get those words out of my head. I guess you do get what you ask for.
Words fall like acid raindrops and I struggle to avoid them. The ones that make contact sear into my skin, etching themselves into the fabric of my being. It's unnerving when the rain suddenly stops, though. The sunshine breaks through the gloom, clouds dissolve into joyful rays of gentle love. The change in the atmosphere … Continue reading Seared