There's a chill in the air when you move closer, and I wonder if you can feel it too. I hope you understand I'm trying here. I've only ever thought of you as security, and now I'm left with a shattered image and another man who's just... human. Excuse me while I learn to love … Continue reading Crossed Boundaries
Tag: anxiety
Blackout
There's no words inside my head to write about, but anxiety still makes my hands shake, still makes my stomach twist into knots; How is it possible that I'm at a loss of words while in a world full of feelings?
One Week Later, and I’m a Mess
Why is it that you get to make the "mistake," get to disregard the boundaries set, prioritize yourself with disgusting, selfish desires and I get to bear the consequences of you actions. I get to stare at myself in the mirror, comparing, criticizing everything about me that I started to love, repeating words you wrote … Continue reading One Week Later, and I’m a Mess
Opaque
[Repost] Sometimes I feel like I live in a glass house with opaque walls. From a distance, it's just a blur of whatever this house contains, But come closer and you'll make out what's happening inside. My life is both hidden in plain view and vividly on display. I both hate it and beg for … Continue reading Opaque
Cycles
You chose someone with a fragile background, whose only experience with men has been violence, infidelity, destruction, disappointment. You vowed to show that person a world of love and security, to show them what faithfulness, honesty, devotion, peace feels like... and then you do the same damn thing as everyone else. What am I supposed … Continue reading Cycles
Sink Not Swim
Swim in the sad, hold your breath, see how far you sink before the air leaves you too; miserable bitch.
I Think I Cried Wolf One Too Many Times
It feels like I'm reaching out, grasping at everything I touch, begging everyone to stick around no matter how much they're hurting me. (Or maybe I'm hurting them.) I feel manic in my head, total mess, unhinged or unglued at the core, just begging the lights inside my skull to turn off so I can … Continue reading I Think I Cried Wolf One Too Many Times
Little
I just wanted to enjoy you a little longer. I wanted to carry you to the very end. I wanted a reminder that all is good, at a time when all feels so very, very bad. And yet, I'm still lying in this bed, avoiding the mountain of what I need to do, while bleeding … Continue reading Little
Value in the Violence
I'm different because of you. I used to think it was a curse; a defect in the aftermath of us. I convinced myself it made me weak to be damaged by your time in my life. Don't get me wrong, if I could I would change how I jump at sounds and how I wake … Continue reading Value in the Violence
Faithless
I'm mad at God right now. Or maybe He's mad at me, cause its been pretty fucking silent on the other side for quite some time. I got in my car, drove for hours last night, screamed at Him until my voice gave out and then cried out noises that broke my own heart. Why … Continue reading Faithless
Fire & Female 