Right now, I'm laying next to a man who has shown me more love in a few months than I've experienced my entire life-- and I'm still fighting back tears. I regret answering the phone and asking the questions I did because this life seems so much shorter now-- and I'm drowning in the fears. … Continue reading One Phone Call and Suddenly My Life Is So Fragile
Tag: creative writing
Sunlit Scars
The decade old scars on my wrist glow in the summer sunlight, and I can't help but think of that night. I was so young, so heartbroken; so sure life was no longer worth living, and I should just give up the fight. Over ten years later and I wish I could go back and … Continue reading Sunlit Scars
The Heat of Chaos
[Repost from September 2nd, 2020] A flashback to the final night. July 2019: I am not okay. I am a total mess back on the floor of a home that has been drenched in lighter fluid and intentionally set on fire. The walls are hot with flame, the linoleum is melting under me, but I … Continue reading The Heat of Chaos
I’ll Love You Until The Sun Dies
I was so hell bent on keeping walls and locking doors, convinced of how my life would and should look, I almost missed out on you. I'm still unsure how you managed to break in, but I will be forever grateful for you and the plot twist you became. Is it cliché to say life … Continue reading I’ll Love You Until The Sun Dies
It’s Not All Sunshine and Rainbows, Robin.
My therapist tells me I need to focus on positivity, and I am trying my best to, but there is fear in leaving the comfort of sadness. Happiness has always been fleeting, while sadness has remained my rock. I'm comforted by the midnight cries into a pillow and drags of metal across delicate flesh and … Continue reading It’s Not All Sunshine and Rainbows, Robin.
Good Men Keep Their Eyes Where They Belong
You're so worried about who he's talking to, who he's looking at, if he's cheating on you. Honey, you're thinking wasted thoughts. You're a catch, a ten, a total fucking babe. Look at you. He's the one who should be worried. And if his eyes are wandering, fuck him. If he's talking to other women, … Continue reading Good Men Keep Their Eyes Where They Belong
A Poetic Take on Catastrophic Thinking
You're failing, a failure, pull yourself together. Take the scissors, place between heart and head; cut the fucking tether. A mess, no dress, just a void within the shell. You act fine, but sins like that earn you spaces inside hell. What's wrong with you? Stop thinking like that! If you fuck this up, they'll … Continue reading A Poetic Take on Catastrophic Thinking
Tidal Waves and Depression
I am the tide coming into shore; barreling towards the end, no escape in sight. I've already seen so much in my life, and I'm not ready to leave this ocean, but still I see no way to run. I am the tide coming into shore, watching and waiting until I am no more.
Self Hatred and an Oversized Tee
I'm fragile, insecure; told to love myself by a society that has taught me not one part of me is truly loveable. Throw in the men who came and reiterated the narrative perpetuated by fashion magazines and filtered Instagram models, and most days I just feel hate when I look in the mirror. So I … Continue reading Self Hatred and an Oversized Tee
I Wish You Could Just Stay
It's an usually warm spring day and the sun is out. You lift my hand up to your mouth and gently kiss the back of it, something that's become habit and yet still stirs up butterflies in me. I've had you by my side for almost three days; like always it's not enough time with … Continue reading I Wish You Could Just Stay
Fire & Female 