I think I've done that thing again; where I break my own damn heart, searching for "A-ha!" moments, and ruminating on painful thoughts. Is this an In-My-Head thing? Or a red flag? I'm just not sure where to go from here...
Self Hatred and an Oversized Tee
I'm fragile, insecure; told to love myself by a society that has taught me not one part of me is truly loveable. Throw in the men who came and reiterated the narrative perpetuated by fashion magazines and filtered Instagram models, and most days I just feel hate when I look in the mirror. So I … Continue reading Self Hatred and an Oversized Tee
Little Tattooed Names
I watched you trace your fingers over the names tattooed on my arm and my breath caught in my throat. I waited for you to ask me about them, started panicking over telling you the story, but you just looked up and kissed me. You never asked me about it, and I know one day … Continue reading Little Tattooed Names
Tell Me to Talk, Because I Need to
I tried to cry out for help, but there were still hands around my throat. I just wanted someone to care; to wrap me in their arms, to kiss my forehead, to say, "Tell me all about it, babe." I've kept my history hidden for so long, I just wanted someone to care to hear … Continue reading Tell Me to Talk, Because I Need to
I told someone a little about you, the things you used to do, and once again I forgot it wasn't normal. It made me wonder if you ever do think about those things too; if you feel guilty for losing your morals. Do you think of how you grabbed my wrist out of anger and … Continue reading Monster, Monster
Should I Ever Lose The War Inside My Head
Should I ever lose the war inside my head, please know I gave this life my all. I saw the beauty in summer sunsets and the peace in watching snow fall. I found kindness in strangers smiles, felt joy in candid moments with my little. I loved harder than anyone I ever met, and lived … Continue reading Should I Ever Lose The War Inside My Head
Cherry red lines lined along porcelain. Glides over delicate, leaves a stain. The internal is external now. The body betrayed, mind asks how. A two year hiatus thrown away. But she was doing okay. (She wasn’t doing okay.)
I live inside my head. I don't mean to, and I definitely don't want to. I'd rather live in reality instead. Do you know what it's like to overthink? It feels like you're under a turbulent sea of thoughts and memories and fears, and all you can seem to do is sink. People tell me … Continue reading [Over]think
Glass heart behind titanium cage beneath paper thin skin. Be careful with her.
Love Me, Love Me Not
I'm a wildflower; the rarest one among pretty, perfect ones. I spend years in this field, watching as others are picked, and I remain rooted here. I want to cry out, "Pick me! Don't you see me here?" but then I remember what I've seen. I don't want to be torn apart for another who … Continue reading Love Me, Love Me Not