[Repost] Sometimes I feel like I live in a glass house with opaque walls. From a distance, it's just a blur of whatever this house contains, But come closer and you'll make out what's happening inside. My life is both hidden in plain view and vividly on display. I both hate it and beg for … Continue reading Opaque
Words, Phrases, and an Inability to Understand
"I hope you don't look back on this moment, and wish it had stayed the same as the first two years." "I don't want to lose a piece of you because of this." "I can't imagine going one day without you. I can't lose you." "I don't want to lose your trust, your heart, your … Continue reading Words, Phrases, and an Inability to Understand
You chose someone with a fragile background, whose only experience with men has been violence, infidelity, destruction, disappointment. You vowed to show that person a world of love and security, to show them what faithfulness, honesty, devotion, peace feels like... and then you do the same damn thing as everyone else. What am I supposed … Continue reading Cycles
I Think I Cried Wolf One Too Many Times
It feels like I'm reaching out, grasping at everything I touch, begging everyone to stick around no matter how much they're hurting me. (Or maybe I'm hurting them.) I feel manic in my head, total mess, unhinged or unglued at the core, just begging the lights inside my skull to turn off so I can … Continue reading I Think I Cried Wolf One Too Many Times
Why Am I Like This?
The sun is out, and I was happy, but then I got inside my head and now I'm feeling feelings that I don't want to feel. The shower is on, and I hesitate to get in, because I know where my head is and I don't wanna drag ugly lines across my delicate skin. The … Continue reading Why Am I Like This?
The sunlight pours over my skin, but I don't feel it's warmth. I think I'll blame this feeling on the status of my heart.
Little Tattooed Names
I watched you trace your fingers over the names tattooed on my arm and my breath caught in my throat. I waited for you to ask me about them, started panicking over telling you the story, but you just looked up and kissed me. You never asked me about it, and I know one day … Continue reading Little Tattooed Names
Tell Me to Talk, Because I Need to
I tried to cry out for help, but there were still hands around my throat. I just wanted someone to care; to wrap me in their arms, to kiss my forehead, to say, "Tell me all about it, babe." I've kept my history hidden for so long, I just wanted someone to care to hear … Continue reading Tell Me to Talk, Because I Need to
Can You Tell Me This Is Real?
I'm scared I'll lose you before I ever get you in my arms, and I don't know how to work through that. You tell me I'm everything you've ever wanted, but what if I say the wrong thing and you decide I'm not? How do I process losing someone I never got the chance to … Continue reading Can You Tell Me This Is Real?
He tells me I'm not fucked up, that things were out of my control and I'm just "delicate." He tells me he loves my laugh, that he loves everything about me and I'm just "perfect." He tells me he wants to make me happy, that I deserve to be treated with respect and I'm trying … Continue reading Papito