It’s Late and I’m Up Overthinking Again

It's in the still silence of my empty bedroom that I feel the deepest; convinced I will never be enough for you, despite your reassurances. I'm ready for you to come home.

The Secret I’m Keeping Is Eating at Me (Stuck in Limbo)

I had an hour drive to the hospital today; another day of pokes and prods and tests. I listened to music without lyrics because I thought hearing words might make me cry. I cried regardless. Honestly, life feels stuck in limbo right now. Like it doesn't matter what I say or do; I might not … Continue reading The Secret I’m Keeping Is Eating at Me (Stuck in Limbo) →

A lifetime of You Just Isn’t Enough

I wish I'd known you years ago. I wish we'd bumped into each other by chance, gained a few more years of loving each other, before the obstacles that face us today appeared. I always say we met exactly when we were meant to, but it doesn't change the feeling that I need more... time. … Continue reading A lifetime of You Just Isn’t Enough →

I’m Just Hoping I’m Jumping To Conclusions…

For as long as I can remember, I have been simultaneously fighting for my life and taking advantage of it all at once. Once, I tried to take my life. Several times I've had to fight others for it. Often I've risked death for the thrill of feeling alive (Ironic, huh?). And now, I'm regretting … Continue reading I’m Just Hoping I’m Jumping To Conclusions… →

Aries

Twenty-seven; the year of love. And also the year of change. Uncertainty faces me-- scares me, but then I look at you and breathe. Twenty-seven; the year of love. The year of us.

One Phone Call and Suddenly My Life Is So Fragile

Right now, I'm laying next to a man who has shown me more love in a few months than I've experienced my entire life-- and I'm still fighting back tears. I regret answering the phone and asking the questions I did because this life seems so much shorter now-- and I'm drowning in the fears. … Continue reading One Phone Call and Suddenly My Life Is So Fragile →

For The LOML

I promise I'll be better soon. Maybe you see nothing wrong with the way I am, at least you say you don't, but I take issue with my constant need for attention, affection, reassurance. I promise I'll be better soon. I know it can't be easy for you to keep up with my constant mood … Continue reading For The LOML →

Tidal Waves and Depression

I am the tide coming into shore; barreling towards the end, no escape in sight. I've already seen so much in my life, and I'm not ready to leave this ocean, but still I see no way to run. I am the tide coming into shore, watching and waiting until I am no more.

This is Why Overthinkers Shouldn’t Be Up at 1 A.M.

I think I've done that thing again; where I break my own damn heart, searching for "A-ha!" moments, and ruminating on painful thoughts. Is this an In-My-Head thing? Or a red flag? I'm just not sure where to go from here...

Self Hatred and an Oversized Tee

I'm fragile, insecure; told to love myself by a society that has taught me not one part of me is truly loveable. Throw in the men who came and reiterated the narrative perpetuated by fashion magazines and filtered Instagram models, and most days I just feel hate when I look in the mirror. So I … Continue reading Self Hatred and an Oversized Tee →