Words spark wildfires inside my mind and trail through the fibers of my soul. I don't bother to address the flames, as I know I am not equipped to handle such a blaze. Inside I sit in the thick of it, engulfed by red and orange light that sears my happiness. To you it's mere … Continue reading Aglow
Sad doesn't even describe it, when the neat little lines designed to make me feel fail to make me feel anything. Maybe this is depression or maybe just heartbreak. I don't know anymore. All I know is that the words that stung the most left the mouths of those who claim to love me. And … Continue reading Love Doesn’t Make Me Forget
"Well, obviously I find them attractive." I know I asked the question, but I didn't expect that to be your answer. I will never get those words out of my head. I guess you do get what you ask for.
I have so many questions, some I've asked, and yet no answers to satisfy me. Now all I'm left with is hesitancy, a touch of confusion, and heightened insecurities. I know... It's all "crazy" to you, but I'm still hurt-- shouldn't that matter more? I forgot communication is only key, when it's not acknowledging; our … Continue reading Everything Feels Uncertain Lately, and I Effing Hate It
I'm tired. Tired of fighting, tired of feeling, tired of failing. Seems like all I do lately is fail. Fail to let people in, fail to keep sadness out, fail to pull myself together. I keep blaming it on uncertainty. Uncertainty of life, uncertainty of love, uncertainty of worth. Maybe it's really my refusal to … Continue reading Inner Battle
Sometimes I talk too much. I'm aware that I do. I go off on tangents that feel related to the topic, or maybe they take me down memory lane and don't relate at all. I get excited and want to share all the little details, thinking it paints a better picture for the listener. Sometimes, … Continue reading It Hurts When You Steal The Light From My Eyes [Please Just Listen]
I think I've done that thing again; where I break my own damn heart, searching for "A-ha!" moments, and ruminating on painful thoughts. Is this an In-My-Head thing? Or a red flag? I'm just not sure where to go from here...
I'm fragile, insecure; told to love myself by a society that has taught me not one part of me is truly loveable. Throw in the men who came and reiterated the narrative perpetuated by fashion magazines and filtered Instagram models, and most days I just feel hate when I look in the mirror. So I … Continue reading Self Hatred and an Oversized Tee
The sun is out, and I was happy, but then I got inside my head and now I'm feeling feelings that I don't want to feel. The shower is on, and I hesitate to get in, because I know where my head is and I don't wanna drag ugly lines across my delicate skin. The … Continue reading Why Am I Like This?
The sunlight pours over my skin, but I don't feel it's warmth. I think I'll blame this feeling on the status of my heart.