Opaque

[Repost] Sometimes I feel like I live in a glass house with opaque walls. From a distance, it's just a blur of whatever this house contains, But come closer and you'll make out what's happening inside. My life is both hidden in plain view and vividly on display. I both hate it and beg for … Continue reading Opaque →

I Think I Cried Wolf One Too Many Times

It feels like I'm reaching out, grasping at everything I touch, begging everyone to stick around no matter how much they're hurting me. (Or maybe I'm hurting them.) I feel manic in my head, total mess, unhinged or unglued at the core, just begging the lights inside my skull to turn off so I can … Continue reading I Think I Cried Wolf One Too Many Times →

Overthinker

[Repost from January 2021] Image courtesy of Mitch Martinez It's thick in my head; the smoke of insecurity. Little fires of doubt and ashes of over thought, they're scattered around and almost always in action. I pretend the fires are out, say I'm all out of doubt; I'm not as tough as I seem. I'm … Continue reading Overthinker →

Traumemory

Shh... Quiet your mind. Inner peace is so hard to find. Feel the feelings, think the thoughts, and hope by morning you've forgot where mouths have been and hands have hit, how loud your head is when you sit and think all those traumatic thoughts. Just hope come sunrise you've forgot.

Love Doesn’t Make Me Forget

Sad doesn't even describe it, when the neat little lines designed to make me feel fail to make me feel anything. Maybe this is depression or maybe just heartbreak. I don't know anymore. All I know is that the words that stung the most left the mouths of those who claim to love me. And … Continue reading Love Doesn’t Make Me Forget →

Seared

Words fall like acid raindrops and I struggle to avoid them. The ones that make contact sear into my skin, etching themselves into the fabric of my being. It's unnerving when the rain suddenly stops, though. The sunshine breaks through the gloom, clouds dissolve into joyful rays of gentle love. The change in the atmosphere … Continue reading Seared →

Honestly

Maybe, just maybe, I am not meant for a world like this; where gravity pulls up my broken pieces, exposes me to the dangers that exist here. Maybe I am too broken to exist.

Sorry for the Silence

We fought about my insecurities and you made the comment, "You're just going to keep bringing this up, so why finish the conversation?" And I've been lost in my head ever since, obsessing over the issue and noticing little things that make me wonder, why would he do that? But I can't say anything to … Continue reading Sorry for the Silence →

Seasonal Distractions & Annual Depression

Ruby painted leaves, toasted marshmallow nights, uneven hoodie strings; warm apple cider, and pumpkin patches-- Fall's finer things. The anticipation grows, and I crave Autumn sunsets for the peace that it brings.

Monotonous

If we're being honest, which I always try to be, I'm struggling right now; not because things are bad but because they're not bad and I don't know how to deal with that. I'm much more comfortable in chaos.