I think I've done that thing again; where I break my own damn heart, searching for "A-ha!" moments, and ruminating on painful thoughts. Is this an In-My-Head thing? Or a red flag? I'm just not sure where to go from here...
I told someone a little about you, the things you used to do, and once again I forgot it wasn't normal. It made me wonder if you ever do think about those things too; if you feel guilty for losing your morals. Do you think of how you grabbed my wrist out of anger and … Continue reading Monster, Monster
I tried to hold on to you, despite all the tears you'd caused me, because I was told what we had was love. I tried to wrap you in silk, tuck you into the safest corner of my heart, but you were carbon dioxide and I craved oxygen. I needed to let you go. I … Continue reading Exhaling You
Cherry red lines lined along porcelain. Glides over delicate, leaves a stain. The internal is external now. The body betrayed, mind asks how. A two year hiatus thrown away. But she was doing okay. (She wasn’t doing okay.)
I find myself feeling sick to my stomach whenever you cross my mind. The butterflies you once gave me are now just hollowed carcasses left behind to poison me every time I hear your name.
You have no business playing in a field of flowers when your intention is not to be gentle, but instead rip the petals off fragile florets and leave the remaining flowers to die.
We spend so much time placing emphasis on how "Sorry" is an action and not just a word. For the record, the phrase "Thank you" is an action, too.
It's in the silence of a pitch black room, where the glow of a streetlight outside filters through the slit where curtains meet that I find myself thinking about you. And I can't help but wonder, with my hands trembling at the thought of you, if you feel sorrow when you think of what you … Continue reading Tremble
The words I've left unsaid because I was too afraid of hurting another's feelings or rocking the boat I was in, slip past my lips, spill into the pitch black of night, and haunt me in my sleep. Oh, how I regret being kind when I should've been honest.
You were full of highs and lows, and I pretended that I didn't mind, but the truth is you made me dizzy with your constant changes. I was good before I found you. Then you came in like a whirlwind of excitement and sex and pretty words I was so desperate to hear. I ignored … Continue reading Whirlwind