Blackout

There's no words inside my head to write about, but anxiety still makes my hands shake, still makes my stomach twist into knots; How is it possible that I'm at a loss of words while in a world full of feelings?

First Place

Sometimes, I think of the reality; of how I might one day be the "Gone too soon" woman. The "She will be missed" mother. The "I wish I would've known" friend. And what scares me most is that it's even a reality in the first place.

Careful, Cautious

I can be your best friend, or your soul mate, or your lover. I can encourage you, and support you, and care about you. But I cannot be your escape, your distraction, your weekend getaway. I don't want to be the one who fills the void, who takes on your burdens, who helps you get … Continue reading Careful, Cautious →

When It All Comes Crashing Down.

I think I finally grieved all that I needed to last night; sat on the balcony for what felt like hours, cried out pain I've clung onto. I yelled at God for abandoning me, prayed for protection of my life, asked the universe to spare me. I let out all the frustration and fear, all … Continue reading When It All Comes Crashing Down. →

It’s Late and I’m Up Overthinking Again

It's in the still silence of my empty bedroom that I feel the deepest; convinced I will never be enough for you, despite your reassurances. I'm ready for you to come home.

The Secret I’m Keeping Is Eating at Me (Stuck in Limbo)

I had an hour drive to the hospital today; another day of pokes and prods and tests. I listened to music without lyrics because I thought hearing words might make me cry. I cried regardless. Honestly, life feels stuck in limbo right now. Like it doesn't matter what I say or do; I might not … Continue reading The Secret I’m Keeping Is Eating at Me (Stuck in Limbo) →

A lifetime of You Just Isn’t Enough

I wish I'd known you years ago. I wish we'd bumped into each other by chance, gained a few more years of loving each other, before the obstacles that face us today appeared. I always say we met exactly when we were meant to, but it doesn't change the feeling that I need more... time. … Continue reading A lifetime of You Just Isn’t Enough →

Sunlit Scars

The decade old scars on my wrist glow in the summer sunlight, and I can't help but think of that night. I was so young, so heartbroken; so sure life was no longer worth living, and I should just give up the fight. Over ten years later and I wish I could go back and … Continue reading Sunlit Scars →

I’ll Love You Until The Sun Dies

I was so hell bent on keeping walls and locking doors, convinced of how my life would and should look, I almost missed out on you. I'm still unsure how you managed to break in, but I will be forever grateful for you and the plot twist you became. Is it cliché to say life … Continue reading I’ll Love You Until The Sun Dies →

This is Why Overthinkers Shouldn’t Be Up at 1 A.M.

I think I've done that thing again; where I break my own damn heart, searching for "A-ha!" moments, and ruminating on painful thoughts. Is this an In-My-Head thing? Or a red flag? I'm just not sure where to go from here...