One Week Later, and I’m a Mess

Why is it that you get to make the "mistake," get to disregard the boundaries set, prioritize yourself with disgusting, selfish desires and I get to bear the consequences of you actions. I get to stare at myself in the mirror, comparing, criticizing everything about me that I started to love, repeating words you wrote … Continue reading One Week Later, and I’m a Mess →

When It Feels Like The End

I made the phone calls for you, when you knew you couldn't. I felt the fear for you, cried the tears with you. When you thought you were alone, I was right there by your side. Now you're back to being happy and I'm the one left out. I thought we had each other's backs; … Continue reading When It Feels Like The End →

Apathetic

The sunlight pours over my skin, but I don't feel it's warmth. I think I'll blame this feeling on the status of my heart.

Monster, Monster

I told someone a little about you, the things you used to do, and once again I forgot it wasn't normal. It made me wonder if you ever do think about those things too; if you feel guilty for losing your morals. Do you think of how you grabbed my wrist out of anger and … Continue reading Monster, Monster →

Can You Tell Me This Is Real?

I'm scared I'll lose you before I ever get you in my arms, and I don't know how to work through that. You tell me I'm everything you've ever wanted, but what if I say the wrong thing and you decide I'm not? How do I process losing someone I never got the chance to … Continue reading Can You Tell Me This Is Real? →

Symptomatic

I was fine. I was fine and then I heard an unfamiliar noise and I couldn't tell where it was coming from, and the first thought that came to mind was How did he find me here? Twenty-three steps between me and safety. I was fine and then I wasn't and I was scared of … Continue reading Symptomatic →

Exhaling You

I tried to hold on to you, despite all the tears you'd caused me, because I was told what we had was love. I tried to wrap you in silk, tuck you into the safest corner of my heart, but you were carbon dioxide and I craved oxygen. I needed to let you go. I … Continue reading Exhaling You →

Cherry Red

Cherry red lines lined along porcelain. Glides over delicate, leaves a stain. The internal is external now. The body betrayed, mind asks how. A two year hiatus thrown away. But she was doing okay. (She wasn’t doing okay.)

Fragile. Resistant.

Glass heart behind titanium cage beneath paper thin skin. Be careful with her.

Someone Mentioned Your Name The Other Day:

And I'm trying to be happy for you. I'm glad you found another's bones to make a home out of. I'm just sad you didn't think you could find that in me.