Maybe, just maybe, I am not meant for a world like this; where gravity pulls up my broken pieces, exposes me to the dangers that exist here. Maybe I am too broken to exist.
Burn The Pages
I sit with a zippo in my hands, lit, dancing against the pages of a paperback novel I hesitated to write. Flame licks worn page corners, begs to devour the stories inside, and I don't hesitate to allow it's feast. Inferno engulfs, delighted by the memoir; allows me to watch the burn as singed words … Continue reading Burn The Pages
Color me vivid, with pinks to represent the strong and blues to represent the dainty and green to represent the growth. Color me creative, with black to represent the integrity and white to represent the purity, and orange to represent the fire inside. Color me complete, with yellow to represent the positive, and red to … Continue reading Visionary
Seasonal Distractions & Annual Depression
Ruby painted leaves, toasted marshmallow nights, uneven hoodie strings; warm apple cider, and pumpkin patches-- Fall's finer things. The anticipation grows, and I crave Autumn sunsets for the peace that it brings.
The Little Voice in My Head Says I’m Losing You
You've been so distant lately, and I'm not sure what to do. You say it's not us, not me, but I don't quite believe you. If you're so happy with me... ...then why do you look so sad? And it's driving me to look; look for the problem, look for answers. I'm only finding things … Continue reading The Little Voice in My Head Says I’m Losing You
There’s Answers in the Avenues You Choose Not to Pursue
I'm not the best at forming my thoughts into words and letting them spill out of my mouth. To be honest, I've been taught that thoughts turned into words can have serious consequences. You keep saying I'm hard to read, hard to understand, and I don't disagree with the statements. Like I said, I've never … Continue reading There’s Answers in the Avenues You Choose Not to Pursue
When It All Comes Crashing Down.
I think I finally grieved all that I needed to last night; sat on the balcony for what felt like hours, cried out pain I've clung onto. I yelled at God for abandoning me, prayed for protection of my life, asked the universe to spare me. I let out all the frustration and fear, all … Continue reading When It All Comes Crashing Down.
Could You Please Keep Your Eyes Off All The Other Girls? Thanks.
I'm pretty insecure, not that much is new there. Be it the past relationships or the dislike for the body I'm in, I'm struggling to see my worth. (Or if I even have any...) Regardless, I feel pretty inadequate and I know the steps to change it, the time it takes to change, but I'm … Continue reading Could You Please Keep Your Eyes Off All The Other Girls? Thanks.
If we're being honest, which I always try to be, I'm struggling right now; not because things are bad but because they're not bad and I don't know how to deal with that. I'm much more comfortable in chaos.
I'm wired wrong, but I don't know how to fix the short circuits. I tried to reroute the wires, manage the cables better, install new software, bypass the problem altogether. Still, the connections are not being made and I'm left faulty and fearful. What if I cannot fix the error? Will I be loved? Cherished? … Continue reading Faulty