Why is it that you get to make the "mistake," get to disregard the boundaries set, prioritize yourself with disgusting, selfish desires and I get to bear the consequences of you actions. I get to stare at myself in the mirror, comparing, criticizing everything about me that I started to love, repeating words you wrote … Continue reading One Week Later, and I’m a Mess
Tag: red flags
Value in the Violence
I'm different because of you. I used to think it was a curse; a defect in the aftermath of us. I convinced myself it made me weak to be damaged by your time in my life. Don't get me wrong, if I could I would change how I jump at sounds and how I wake … Continue reading Value in the Violence
I'm mad at God right now. Or maybe He's mad at me, cause its been pretty fucking silent on the other side for quite some time. I got in my car, drove for hours last night, screamed at Him until my voice gave out and then cried out noises that broke my own heart. Why … Continue reading Faithless
I Wish I Didn’t Feel This Way
I am realizing maybe you aren't as perfect as I had once thought, because I've told you what makes me uncomfortable and your replies only made it worse. Now I'm waking up from dreams that seem too realistic to be false, because I cannot get the thoughts out of my fucking head. But what kind … Continue reading I Wish I Didn’t Feel This Way
I told someone a little about you, the things you used to do, and once again I forgot it wasn't normal. It made me wonder if you ever do think about those things too; if you feel guilty for losing your morals. Do you think of how you grabbed my wrist out of anger and … Continue reading Monster, Monster
Should The Dark Outweigh The Light…
Hostage in my own head, tormented by the trauma I run from. Drowning in fear, bleeding out heartbreak; the false smile I wear fools everyone. Hands around my throat, suffocating the light in me. Slipping into dissociation, reveling in hollowness; the pain might consume me whole. Death knocks on the door, tendency begs for another … Continue reading Should The Dark Outweigh The Light…
I tried to hold on to you, despite all the tears you'd caused me, because I was told what we had was love. I tried to wrap you in silk, tuck you into the safest corner of my heart, but you were carbon dioxide and I craved oxygen. I needed to let you go. I … Continue reading Exhaling You
Cherry red lines lined along porcelain. Glides over delicate, leaves a stain. The internal is external now. The body betrayed, mind asks how. A two year hiatus thrown away. But she was doing okay. (She wasn’t doing okay.)
Oh, how foolish I was to make my home in the bones of hollow people. There is no love to be found in a place like that.
I find myself feeling sick to my stomach whenever you cross my mind. The butterflies you once gave me are now just hollowed carcasses left behind to poison me every time I hear your name.