You're failing, a failure, pull yourself together. Take the scissors, place between heart and head; cut the fucking tether. A mess, no dress, just a void within the shell. You act fine, but sins like that earn you spaces inside hell. What's wrong with you? Stop thinking like that! If you fuck this up, they'll … Continue reading A Poetic Take on Catastrophic Thinking
I think I've done that thing again; where I break my own damn heart, searching for "A-ha!" moments, and ruminating on painful thoughts. Is this an In-My-Head thing? Or a red flag? I'm just not sure where to go from here...
I am realizing maybe you aren't as perfect as I had once thought, because I've told you what makes me uncomfortable and your replies only made it worse. Now I'm waking up from dreams that seem too realistic to be false, because I cannot get the thoughts out of my fucking head. But what kind … Continue reading I Wish I Didn’t Feel This Way
One simple thing, presumably innocent, and I am right back in an old mindset. Maybe I'm not as secure as I thought. Maybe it's intuition or maybe it's fear. I don't know. All I know is I'm too unbelievably lost inside my head tonight.
The sun is out, and I was happy, but then I got inside my head and now I'm feeling feelings that I don't want to feel. The shower is on, and I hesitate to get in, because I know where my head is and I don't wanna drag ugly lines across my delicate skin. The … Continue reading Why Am I Like This?
The sunlight pours over my skin, but I don't feel it's warmth. I think I'll blame this feeling on the status of my heart.
I tried to cry out for help, but there were still hands around my throat. I just wanted someone to care; to wrap me in their arms, to kiss my forehead, to say, "Tell me all about it, babe." I've kept my history hidden for so long, I just wanted someone to care to hear … Continue reading Tell Me to Talk, Because I Need to
Should I ever lose the war inside my head, please know I gave this life my all. I saw the beauty in summer sunsets and the peace in watching snow fall. I found kindness in strangers smiles, felt joy in candid moments with my little. I loved harder than anyone I ever met, and lived … Continue reading Should I Ever Lose The War Inside My Head
I'm scared I'll lose you before I ever get you in my arms, and I don't know how to work through that. You tell me I'm everything you've ever wanted, but what if I say the wrong thing and you decide I'm not? How do I process losing someone I never got the chance to … Continue reading Can You Tell Me This Is Real?
Hostage in my own head, tormented by the trauma I run from. Drowning in fear, bleeding out heartbreak; the false smile I wear fools everyone. Hands around my throat, suffocating the light in me. Slipping into dissociation, reveling in hollowness; the pain might consume me whole. Death knocks on the door, tendency begs for another … Continue reading Should The Dark Outweigh The Light…