And I've put it in this poem for you. [Repost from 2020] I've spent months swallowing the burning feeling in my throat, letting it create a fire in my belly until the eruption of feelings and words I've never said make their way to my mouth, with nowhere to spew the words out... Until now. … Continue reading There's So Much Left To Say:
Shh... Quiet your mind. Inner peace is so hard to find. Feel the feelings, think the thoughts, and hope by morning you've forgot where mouths have been and hands have hit, how loud your head is when you sit and think all those traumatic thoughts. Just hope come sunrise you've forgot.
The decade old scars on my wrist glow in the summer sunlight, and I can't help but think of that night. I was so young, so heartbroken; so sure life was no longer worth living, and I should just give up the fight. Over ten years later and I wish I could go back and … Continue reading Sunlit Scars
The Heat of Chaos
[Repost from September 2nd, 2020] A flashback to the final night. July 2019: I am not okay. I am a total mess back on the floor of a home that has been drenched in lighter fluid and intentionally set on fire. The walls are hot with flame, the linoleum is melting under me, but I … Continue reading The Heat of Chaos
The Thunderstorm Cannot Break Me
They say the odds of being struck by lightning twice are in the millions, but it seems like lightning keeps finding me just fine; in the bedroom of a boy I thought I knew, in the arms of a man I thought I could trust, in my own bedroom where I once felt safe. Everywhere … Continue reading The Thunderstorm Cannot Break Me
Why Am I Like This?
The sun is out, and I was happy, but then I got inside my head and now I'm feeling feelings that I don't want to feel. The shower is on, and I hesitate to get in, because I know where my head is and I don't wanna drag ugly lines across my delicate skin. The … Continue reading Why Am I Like This?
The sunlight pours over my skin, but I don't feel it's warmth. I think I'll blame this feeling on the status of my heart.
Tell Me to Talk, Because I Need to
I tried to cry out for help, but there were still hands around my throat. I just wanted someone to care; to wrap me in their arms, to kiss my forehead, to say, "Tell me all about it, babe." I've kept my history hidden for so long, I just wanted someone to care to hear … Continue reading Tell Me to Talk, Because I Need to
I told someone a little about you, the things you used to do, and once again I forgot it wasn't normal. It made me wonder if you ever do think about those things too; if you feel guilty for losing your morals. Do you think of how you grabbed my wrist out of anger and … Continue reading Monster, Monster
Should I Ever Lose The War Inside My Head
Should I ever lose the war inside my head, please know I gave this life my all. I saw the beauty in summer sunsets and the peace in watching snow fall. I found kindness in strangers smiles, felt joy in candid moments with my little. I loved harder than anyone I ever met, and lived … Continue reading Should I Ever Lose The War Inside My Head