Symptomatic

I was fine. I was fine and then I heard an unfamiliar noise and I couldn't tell where it was coming from, and the first thought that came to mind was How did he find me here? Twenty-three steps between me and safety. I was fine and then I wasn't and I was scared of … Continue reading Symptomatic →

Cycle

The alcohol burns my throat as it goes down, signs the drink should ease the pain soon. Songs with subtle piano fill the holes in my chest, tug at the strings that cling to my tattered heart. I let the melody serenade me as I sink lower, into a bathtub full of scorched water and … Continue reading Cycle →

Sick

I find myself feeling sick to my stomach whenever you cross my mind. The butterflies you once gave me are now just hollowed carcasses left behind to poison me every time I hear your name.

Tremble

It's in the silence of a pitch black room, where the glow of a streetlight outside filters through the slit where curtains meet that I find myself thinking about you. And I can't help but wonder, with my hands trembling at the thought of you, if you feel sorrow when you think of what you … Continue reading Tremble →

Cracked Foundation

She wanted to see the good in you, so she went to work building a foundation for love and the future you promised her. She noticed when you set your tools down and left her to do all the work on her own, but she made excuses for your behavior. When you set fires to … Continue reading Cracked Foundation →

Monster (Not Man)

You were too busy yelling to notice how she flinched at your sudden movements and made herself smaller in your presence. She did her best to put you on a pedestal, bow at your feet and sing praises to you, because happy you was how she stayed safe. Did it make you feel good to … Continue reading Monster (Not Man) →

The Heat of Chaos

A flashback to the final night. July 2019: I am not okay. I am a total mess back on the floor of a home that has been drenched in lighter fluid and intentionally set on fire. The walls are hot with flame, the linoleum is melting under me, but I remain curled up on the … Continue reading The Heat of Chaos →

Ghost [of You]

I hear your voice in the soft mumble of strangers in a coffee shop, In the swoosh of a car zooming by on the interstate, In the rumble of a thunderstorm off in the distance, In the rhythm of unfamiliar songs playing on the radio. I feel the sharp edge of your tongue as you … Continue reading Ghost [of You] →

Silent Sounds

There's rain tapping on my bedroom window, Illuminated by the soft glow of a streetlight outside. It should be a calming sound to me. I should be lulled to sleep by the gentle white noise. Instead, it alerts my senses and slams me into panic mode. Because the hushed call of rain is not peaceful … Continue reading Silent Sounds →

Detox

I thought I was done with toxicity, But I find myself surrounded by it. In my personal life, In my friendships, In my friends relationships, In my interactions with strangers. I do my best to avoid it where I can, Because I don't need anymore reminders Of fists in the walls of my safe space, … Continue reading Detox →