Hostage in my own head, tormented by the trauma I run from. Drowning in fear, bleeding out heartbreak; the false smile I wear fools everyone. Hands around my throat, suffocating the light in me. Slipping into dissociation, reveling in hollowness; the pain might consume me whole. Death knocks on the door, tendency begs for another … Continue reading Should The Dark Outweigh The Light…
Tag: thoughts
Symptomatic
I was fine. I was fine and then I heard an unfamiliar noise and I couldn't tell where it was coming from, and the first thought that came to mind was How did he find me here? Twenty-three steps between me and safety. I was fine and then I wasn't and I was scared of … Continue reading Symptomatic
Exhaling You
I tried to hold on to you, despite all the tears you'd caused me, because I was told what we had was love. I tried to wrap you in silk, tuck you into the safest corner of my heart, but you were carbon dioxide and I craved oxygen. I needed to let you go. I … Continue reading Exhaling You
Cherry Red
Cherry red lines lined along porcelain. Glides over delicate, leaves a stain. The internal is external now. The body betrayed, mind asks how. A two year hiatus thrown away. But she was doing okay. (She wasn’t doing okay.)
Commitment Issues
Maybe I don't have a fear of commitment, but a fear of committing to the wrong one instead. I'd give everything I have to someone if I knew they truly meant what they said.
[Over]think
I live inside my head. I don't mean to, and I definitely don't want to. I'd rather live in reality instead. Do you know what it's like to overthink? It feels like you're under a turbulent sea of thoughts and memories and fears, and all you can seem to do is sink. People tell me … Continue reading [Over]think
Fragile. Resistant.
Glass heart behind titanium cage beneath paper thin skin. Be careful with her.
Someone Mentioned Your Name The Other Day:
And I'm trying to be happy for you. I'm glad you found another's bones to make a home out of. I'm just sad you didn't think you could find that in me.
Cycle
The alcohol burns my throat as it goes down, signs the drink should ease the pain soon. Songs with subtle piano fill the holes in my chest, tug at the strings that cling to my tattered heart. I let the melody serenade me as I sink lower, into a bathtub full of scorched water and … Continue reading Cycle
Hollow Home
Oh, how foolish I was to make my home in the bones of hollow people. There is no love to be found in a place like that.