And I've put it in this poem for you. [Repost from 2020] I've spent months swallowing the burning feeling in my throat, letting it create a fire in my belly until the eruption of feelings and words I've never said make their way to my mouth, with nowhere to spew the words out... Until now. … Continue reading There's So Much Left To Say:
I'm different because of you. I used to think it was a curse; a defect in the aftermath of us. I convinced myself it made me weak to be damaged by your time in my life. Don't get me wrong, if I could I would change how I jump at sounds and how I wake … Continue reading Value in the Violence
Shh... Quiet your mind. Inner peace is so hard to find. Feel the feelings, think the thoughts, and hope by morning you've forgot where mouths have been and hands have hit, how loud your head is when you sit and think all those traumatic thoughts. Just hope come sunrise you've forgot.
I told someone a little about you, the things you used to do, and once again I forgot it wasn't normal. It made me wonder if you ever do think about those things too; if you feel guilty for losing your morals. Do you think of how you grabbed my wrist out of anger and … Continue reading Monster, Monster
Hostage in my own head, tormented by the trauma I run from. Drowning in fear, bleeding out heartbreak; the false smile I wear fools everyone. Hands around my throat, suffocating the light in me. Slipping into dissociation, reveling in hollowness; the pain might consume me whole. Death knocks on the door, tendency begs for another … Continue reading Should The Dark Outweigh The Light…
I was fine. I was fine and then I heard an unfamiliar noise and I couldn't tell where it was coming from, and the first thought that came to mind was How did he find me here? Twenty-three steps between me and safety. I was fine and then I wasn't and I was scared of … Continue reading Symptomatic
Cherry red lines lined along porcelain. Glides over delicate, leaves a stain. The internal is external now. The body betrayed, mind asks how. A two year hiatus thrown away. But she was doing okay. (She wasn’t doing okay.)
The alcohol burns my throat as it goes down, signs the drink should ease the pain soon. Songs with subtle piano fill the holes in my chest, tug at the strings that cling to my tattered heart. I let the melody serenade me as I sink lower, into a bathtub full of scorched water and … Continue reading Cycle
I find myself feeling sick to my stomach whenever you cross my mind. The butterflies you once gave me are now just hollowed carcasses left behind to poison me every time I hear your name.
It's in the silence of a pitch black room, where the glow of a streetlight outside filters through the slit where curtains meet that I find myself thinking about you. And I can't help but wonder, with my hands trembling at the thought of you, if you feel sorrow when you think of what you … Continue reading Tremble