Traumemory

Shh... Quiet your mind. Inner peace is so hard to find. Feel the feelings, think the thoughts, and hope by morning you've forgot where mouths have been and hands have hit, how loud your head is when you sit and think all those traumatic thoughts. Just hope come sunrise you've forgot.

There’s Answers in the Avenues You Choose Not to Pursue

I'm not the best at forming my thoughts into words and letting them spill out of my mouth. To be honest, I've been taught that thoughts turned into words can have serious consequences. You keep saying I'm hard to read, hard to understand, and I don't disagree with the statements. Like I said, I've never … Continue reading There’s Answers in the Avenues You Choose Not to Pursue →

This is Why Overthinkers Shouldn’t Be Up at 1 A.M.

I think I've done that thing again; where I break my own damn heart, searching for "A-ha!" moments, and ruminating on painful thoughts. Is this an In-My-Head thing? Or a red flag? I'm just not sure where to go from here...

Why Am I Like This?

The sun is out, and I was happy, but then I got inside my head and now I'm feeling feelings that I don't want to feel. The shower is on, and I hesitate to get in, because I know where my head is and I don't wanna drag ugly lines across my delicate skin. The … Continue reading Why Am I Like This? →

Monster, Monster

I told someone a little about you, the things you used to do, and once again I forgot it wasn't normal. It made me wonder if you ever do think about those things too; if you feel guilty for losing your morals. Do you think of how you grabbed my wrist out of anger and … Continue reading Monster, Monster →

Should I Ever Lose The War Inside My Head

Should I ever lose the war inside my head, please know I gave this life my all. I saw the beauty in summer sunsets and the peace in watching snow fall. I found kindness in strangers smiles, felt joy in candid moments with my little. I loved harder than anyone I ever met, and lived … Continue reading Should I Ever Lose The War Inside My Head →

Should The Dark Outweigh The Light…

Hostage in my own head, tormented by the trauma I run from. Drowning in fear, bleeding out heartbreak; the false smile I wear fools everyone. Hands around my throat, suffocating the light in me. Slipping into dissociation, reveling in hollowness; the pain might consume me whole. Death knocks on the door, tendency begs for another … Continue reading Should The Dark Outweigh The Light… →

Symptomatic

I was fine. I was fine and then I heard an unfamiliar noise and I couldn't tell where it was coming from, and the first thought that came to mind was How did he find me here? Twenty-three steps between me and safety. I was fine and then I wasn't and I was scared of … Continue reading Symptomatic →

Cherry Red

Cherry red lines lined along porcelain. Glides over delicate, leaves a stain. The internal is external now. The body betrayed, mind asks how. A two year hiatus thrown away. But she was doing okay. (She wasn’t doing okay.)

Commitment Issues

Maybe I don't have a fear of commitment, but a fear of committing to the wrong one instead. I'd give everything I have to someone if I knew they truly meant what they said.