I just need space. Space to breathe, Space to communicate, Space to feel at peace. I need a moment with no threats, with no guards up, with no eggshells. I need what I've always offered others; room to just be. Is that asking too much?
I am tired of being the punching bag.
Advice for the Damned
It's two years from now. He's dancing with her in the kitchen after dinner, eyes wide and full of love for her as she leans into his embrace. She loves differently because of those before him, he knows this to be true, but he sees all that she brings to this union. She is all … Continue reading Advice for the Damned
Levels
Big blue eyes stare up at me, curious, and little arms wrap themselves around me; a little mouth asks me if I'm okay. The wave of saltwater tears begs for escape, the weight in my stomach sinks deeper, the thoughts tell me I'm failing her. No child should wonder why mom is sad. I press … Continue reading Levels
Swell
Heart is heavy, stomach in knots, head is confused. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't think. Just a void of nothing, a swell of everything, a shell of something. This will be the death of me.
Waves
There's a perpetual sadness, static, silence, in my head. How is it that can I feel everything, and nothing, all at once.
Not Enough
Love and respect are not mutual. You can love someone with all your heart, and disrespect them on levels unfathomable. Love is a feeling, respect is a choice. Choose wisely.
Confession
I'm tired of holding the weight of the world on my shoulders; tired of the tension that holds my body hostage tired of the nightmares that don't let me sleep tired of the flashbacks that keep me imprisoned tired of the angry words that nestle into my brain tired of the panic that circulates my blood … Continue reading Confession
Obscured
I just want one day where the air doesn't catch in my throat, and my heart doesn't shatter.
Wrong Directions
Therapy is driving around in a faulty car alone, sad girl songs turned up so loud your head hurts, screaming along to lyrics that feel too familiar, while tears remind you the numbness is a facade. It turns out you're still human.
Fire & Female 