Confession

I’m tired of holding the weight of the world on my shoulders;

tired of the tension that holds my body hostage

tired of the nightmares that don’t let me sleep

tired of the flashbacks that keep me imprisoned

tired of the angry words that nestle into my brain

tired of the panic that circulates my blood

tired of the pressure that lives in my skull

tired of the way my heart burns inside my chest

tired of the way my lungs struggle to find air

tired of the people that constantly let me down

tired of the “it can only get better“ comments

tired of plastering this fake smile on my face

tired of the expectations to be something… more

tired of crying into my pillowcase every night

tired of praying to a God with deaf ears

tired of begging others to care about me

tired of waiting for the calm to come

tired of wishing for a goddamn break

tired of feeling like I have no where I belong

tired of losing people who promise to stay

tired of being scared of losing what little I have left

tired of something always going wrong

tired of putting my broken pieces back together,

just to watch them fall again.

I’m just so tired.