It feels like I'm reaching out, grasping at everything I touch, begging everyone to stick around no matter how much they're hurting me. (Or maybe I'm hurting them.) I feel manic in my head, total mess, unhinged or unglued at the core, just begging the lights inside my skull to turn off so I can … Continue reading I Think I Cried Wolf One Too Many Times
Tag: expression
Faithless
I'm mad at God right now. Or maybe He's mad at me, cause its been pretty fucking silent on the other side for quite some time. I got in my car, drove for hours last night, screamed at Him until my voice gave out and then cried out noises that broke my own heart. Why … Continue reading Faithless
This is Why Overthinkers Shouldn’t Be Up at 1 A.M.
I think I've done that thing again; where I break my own damn heart, searching for "A-ha!" moments, and ruminating on painful thoughts. Is this an In-My-Head thing? Or a red flag? I'm just not sure where to go from here...
Self Hatred and an Oversized Tee
I'm fragile, insecure; told to love myself by a society that has taught me not one part of me is truly loveable. Throw in the men who came and reiterated the narrative perpetuated by fashion magazines and filtered Instagram models, and most days I just feel hate when I look in the mirror. So I … Continue reading Self Hatred and an Oversized Tee
Love is Art
Like a delicate snowflake dancing on the tendrils of a red hot fire, I melt beneath your words. Not because they drip with honey-sweet love, but because they're laced with the promises I cling to. You're like spilled black ink on starch white canvas, always changing the picture I'm painting. Fragile and flawed art; I … Continue reading Love is Art
Maybe I’m a Little in My Feels
When I met you, I suddenly wanted more. Like a switch flipped and I wanted the just-because flowers, and the forehead kisses, and the late night phone calls, and the hand holding, and even the idea of slow dancing in the kitchen of my apartment. Now, I crave the present and the future and the … Continue reading Maybe I’m a Little in My Feels
Should The Dark Outweigh The Light…
Hostage in my own head, tormented by the trauma I run from. Drowning in fear, bleeding out heartbreak; the false smile I wear fools everyone. Hands around my throat, suffocating the light in me. Slipping into dissociation, reveling in hollowness; the pain might consume me whole. Death knocks on the door, tendency begs for another … Continue reading Should The Dark Outweigh The Light…
Exhaling You
I tried to hold on to you, despite all the tears you'd caused me, because I was told what we had was love. I tried to wrap you in silk, tuck you into the safest corner of my heart, but you were carbon dioxide and I craved oxygen. I needed to let you go. I … Continue reading Exhaling You
Cherry Red
Cherry red lines lined along porcelain. Glides over delicate, leaves a stain. The internal is external now. The body betrayed, mind asks how. A two year hiatus thrown away. But she was doing okay. (She wasn’t doing okay.)
Commitment Issues
Maybe I don't have a fear of commitment, but a fear of committing to the wrong one instead. I'd give everything I have to someone if I knew they truly meant what they said.
Fire & Female 