I stopped fighting for you. I quit chasing you around, trying to get you to just see me. I quit attempting to create beauty out of the ashes of your broken promises, and the smoke of empty commitments. I took a step back, finally saw the whole picture, and you had the audacity to ask … Continue reading Ash & Smoke
Dream You
I saw you in my dreams last night. I tried to stay asleep. I finally got the you I've always wanted; the you I never got. You said all the right things to me, and held me in your arms so tight. We were so fucking happy, and you looked so in love. I tried … Continue reading Dream You
The Heat of Chaos
A flashback to the final night. July 2019: I am not okay. I am a total mess back on the floor of a home that has been drenched in lighter fluid and intentionally set on fire. The walls are hot with flame, the linoleum is melting under me, but I remain curled up on the … Continue reading The Heat of Chaos
The Sea I Am:
Image courtesy of AraNaja See me as the sea I am, not the wave you've encountered. I am not a hurdle for you to get over, or another obstacle you can conquer. I'm not a distraction from previous waters, nor am I a passage to another body. I am all the waves, all the currents, … Continue reading The Sea I Am:
Wicked Glass
Image courtesy of Shreekant Plappally I fell in love with a villain, draped in white clothing and adorned with medals. I fell for the knight, the one who endured much just to save me from hell. I didn't know, though, he was made of glass; fragile and entirely false. I thanked the heavens for him; … Continue reading Wicked Glass
Thunderstorm
I crave a thunder in my bones lightning in my veins, rain in my heart, fire in my lungs, ice on my lips, sunshine on my skin, midnight in my soul, kind of love. I want to feel every emotion, reaction, touch, caress, pull, pulse, cut, break, bandage, bond. I want a love so intense … Continue reading Thunderstorm
Fingertips
Image courtesy of Santina Pires I spent years with my fingertips pressed against the glass of a store selling love I could not have. I watched every day as a new person walked in and walked back out with the kind of love one dreams about; The kind where laughter is genuine kindness is abundant … Continue reading Fingertips
Ghost [of You]
I hear your voice in the soft mumble of strangers in a coffee shop, In the swoosh of a car zooming by on the interstate, In the rumble of a thunderstorm off in the distance, In the rhythm of unfamiliar songs playing on the radio. I feel the sharp edge of your tongue as you … Continue reading Ghost [of You]
Silent Sounds
There's rain tapping on my bedroom window, Illuminated by the soft glow of a streetlight outside. It should be a calming sound to me. I should be lulled to sleep by the gentle white noise. Instead, it alerts my senses and slams me into panic mode. Because the hushed call of rain is not peaceful … Continue reading Silent Sounds
Hiatus
Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning; in my thoughts, in my feelings, in my memories. It's like there's these waves, swells of doubt and fear and sadness that swallow me whole and spit me out just so I relive the trauma. Sometimes I hate it, and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I wonder how have I … Continue reading Hiatus
Fire & Female 