Overthinker

[Repost from January 2021] Image courtesy of Mitch Martinez It's thick in my head; the smoke of insecurity. Little fires of doubt and ashes of over thought, they're scattered around and almost always in action. I pretend the fires are out, say I'm all out of doubt; I'm not as tough as I seem. I'm … Continue reading Overthinker →

There's So Much Left To Say:

And I've put it in this poem for you. [Repost from 2020] I've spent months swallowing the burning feeling in my throat, letting it create a fire in my belly until the eruption of feelings and words I've never said make their way to my mouth, with nowhere to spew the words out... Until now. … Continue reading There's So Much Left To Say: →

Faithless

I'm mad at God right now. Or maybe He's mad at me, cause its been pretty fucking silent on the other side for quite some time. I got in my car, drove for hours last night, screamed at Him until my voice gave out and then cried out noises that broke my own heart. Why … Continue reading Faithless →

The Little Voice in My Head Says I’m Losing You

You've been so distant lately, and I'm not sure what to do. You say it's not us, not me, but I don't quite believe you. If you're so happy with me... ...then why do you look so sad? And it's driving me to look; look for the problem, look for answers. I'm only finding things … Continue reading The Little Voice in My Head Says I’m Losing You →

City Name

I watched as you tore me apart, then watched as you fell apart, and not once did I hesitate to put you first. All those hurtful comments, the mocking faces and waving hands, it didn't matter the moment I saw you were in pain. I pulled you into my arms, I held you as tight … Continue reading City Name →

I Didn’t Recognize the Man Before Me

Red leather booth. Teary-eyed girl. Angry man. Restaurant packed. Tears spilled. Face flushed with embarrassment. Half-hearted apologies. Hurtful comments. Mixed messages. Unrecognizable. Unbearable. Uncertain. Panicked mind. Racing heart. Fight or flight mode. Name calling. No love. No care. Please stop. Please stay. Please leave. Make up. Forget about it. No conversation. Heart shattered. Memory tainted. … Continue reading I Didn’t Recognize the Man Before Me →

There’s Answers in the Avenues You Choose Not to Pursue

I'm not the best at forming my thoughts into words and letting them spill out of my mouth. To be honest, I've been taught that thoughts turned into words can have serious consequences. You keep saying I'm hard to read, hard to understand, and I don't disagree with the statements. Like I said, I've never … Continue reading There’s Answers in the Avenues You Choose Not to Pursue →

When It All Comes Crashing Down.

I think I finally grieved all that I needed to last night; sat on the balcony for what felt like hours, cried out pain I've clung onto. I yelled at God for abandoning me, prayed for protection of my life, asked the universe to spare me. I let out all the frustration and fear, all … Continue reading When It All Comes Crashing Down. →

Could You Please Keep Your Eyes Off All The Other Girls? Thanks.

I'm pretty insecure, not that much is new there. Be it the past relationships or the dislike for the body I'm in, I'm struggling to see my worth. (Or if I even have any...) Regardless, I feel pretty inadequate and I know the steps to change it, the time it takes to change, but I'm … Continue reading Could You Please Keep Your Eyes Off All The Other Girls? Thanks. →

Faulty

I'm wired wrong, but I don't know how to fix the short circuits. I tried to reroute the wires, manage the cables better, install new software, bypass the problem altogether. Still, the connections are not being made and I'm left faulty and fearful. What if I cannot fix the error? Will I be loved? Cherished? … Continue reading Faulty →