Opaque

[Repost] Sometimes I feel like I live in a glass house with opaque walls. From a distance, it's just a blur of whatever this house contains, But come closer and you'll make out what's happening inside. My life is both hidden in plain view and vividly on display. I both hate it and beg for … Continue reading Opaque →

The Nightmare Doesn’t Fucking Stop

I have this recurring nightmare. It's the same dream over and over again. You're no where to be found and after the panic sets in I realize that's how you want it to be. You've left, cut off contact, disappeared. I wake up at the part where I finally get it, only to fall back … Continue reading The Nightmare Doesn’t Fucking Stop →

Sink Not Swim

Swim in the sad, hold your breath, see how far you sink before the air leaves you too; miserable bitch.

I Think I Cried Wolf One Too Many Times

It feels like I'm reaching out, grasping at everything I touch, begging everyone to stick around no matter how much they're hurting me. (Or maybe I'm hurting them.) I feel manic in my head, total mess, unhinged or unglued at the core, just begging the lights inside my skull to turn off so I can … Continue reading I Think I Cried Wolf One Too Many Times →

Little

I just wanted to enjoy you a little longer. I wanted to carry you to the very end. I wanted a reminder that all is good, at a time when all feels so very, very bad. And yet, I'm still lying in this bed, avoiding the mountain of what I need to do, while bleeding … Continue reading Little →

Traumemory

Shh... Quiet your mind. Inner peace is so hard to find. Feel the feelings, think the thoughts, and hope by morning you've forgot where mouths have been and hands have hit, how loud your head is when you sit and think all those traumatic thoughts. Just hope come sunrise you've forgot.

Love Doesn’t Make Me Forget

Sad doesn't even describe it, when the neat little lines designed to make me feel fail to make me feel anything. Maybe this is depression or maybe just heartbreak. I don't know anymore. All I know is that the words that stung the most left the mouths of those who claim to love me. And … Continue reading Love Doesn’t Make Me Forget →

Honestly

Maybe, just maybe, I am not meant for a world like this; where gravity pulls up my broken pieces, exposes me to the dangers that exist here. Maybe I am too broken to exist.

Seasonal Distractions & Annual Depression

Ruby painted leaves, toasted marshmallow nights, uneven hoodie strings; warm apple cider, and pumpkin patches-- Fall's finer things. The anticipation grows, and I crave Autumn sunsets for the peace that it brings.

Tidal Waves and Depression

I am the tide coming into shore; barreling towards the end, no escape in sight. I've already seen so much in my life, and I'm not ready to leave this ocean, but still I see no way to run. I am the tide coming into shore, watching and waiting until I am no more.