I can be your best friend, or your soul mate, or your lover. I can encourage you, and support you, and care about you. But I cannot be your escape, your distraction, your weekend getaway. I don't want to be the one who fills the void, who takes on your burdens, who helps you get … Continue reading Careful, Cautious
Be careful of your words, and the attitude behind them. Sometimes failure to be mindful can result in perceptions changing. I'd hate to view you in another light.
I think I've done that thing again; where I break my own damn heart, searching for "A-ha!" moments, and ruminating on painful thoughts. Is this an In-My-Head thing? Or a red flag? I'm just not sure where to go from here...
I'm fragile, insecure; told to love myself by a society that has taught me not one part of me is truly loveable. Throw in the men who came and reiterated the narrative perpetuated by fashion magazines and filtered Instagram models, and most days I just feel hate when I look in the mirror. So I … Continue reading Self Hatred and an Oversized Tee
I watched you trace your fingers over the names tattooed on my arm and my breath caught in my throat. I waited for you to ask me about them, started panicking over telling you the story, but you just looked up and kissed me. You never asked me about it, and I know one day … Continue reading Little Tattooed Names
I told someone a little about you, the things you used to do, and once again I forgot it wasn't normal. It made me wonder if you ever do think about those things too; if you feel guilty for losing your morals. Do you think of how you grabbed my wrist out of anger and … Continue reading Monster, Monster
He tells me I'm not fucked up, that things were out of my control and I'm just "delicate." He tells me he loves my laugh, that he loves everything about me and I'm just "perfect." He tells me he wants to make me happy, that I deserve to be treated with respect and I'm trying … Continue reading Papito
I tried to hold on to you, despite all the tears you'd caused me, because I was told what we had was love. I tried to wrap you in silk, tuck you into the safest corner of my heart, but you were carbon dioxide and I craved oxygen. I needed to let you go. I … Continue reading Exhaling You
Cherry red lines lined along porcelain. Glides over delicate, leaves a stain. The internal is external now. The body betrayed, mind asks how. A two year hiatus thrown away. But she was doing okay. (She wasn’t doing okay.)
Maybe I don't have a fear of commitment, but a fear of committing to the wrong one instead. I'd give everything I have to someone if I knew they truly meant what they said.