Should The Dark Outweigh The Light…

Hostage in my own head, tormented by the trauma I run from. Drowning in fear, bleeding out heartbreak; the false smile I wear fools everyone. Hands around my throat, suffocating the light in me. Slipping into dissociation, reveling in hollowness; the pain might consume me whole. Death knocks on the door, tendency begs for another … Continue reading Should The Dark Outweigh The Light… →

Cherry Red

Cherry red lines lined along porcelain. Glides over delicate, leaves a stain. The internal is external now. The body betrayed, mind asks how. A two year hiatus thrown away. But she was doing okay. (She wasn’t doing okay.)

Someone Mentioned Your Name The Other Day:

And I'm trying to be happy for you. I'm glad you found another's bones to make a home out of. I'm just sad you didn't think you could find that in me.

Cycle

The alcohol burns my throat as it goes down, signs the drink should ease the pain soon. Songs with subtle piano fill the holes in my chest, tug at the strings that cling to my tattered heart. I let the melody serenade me as I sink lower, into a bathtub full of scorched water and … Continue reading Cycle →

Cracked Foundation

She wanted to see the good in you, so she went to work building a foundation for love and the future you promised her. She noticed when you set your tools down and left her to do all the work on her own, but she made excuses for your behavior. When you set fires to … Continue reading Cracked Foundation →

Nine Months Later

Midnight is approaching, and I'm here thinking about you. I wish I wasn't. I hate that I still am, and that it's been nine months now. I can't help but wonder if you're happy, if I ever cross your mind, and why I wasn't enough. I'll never understand what happened to us, but I'll miss … Continue reading Nine Months Later →

Fraud

I'm standing in a walk-in shower with the water on, just begging every droplet of water to get hotter and sear the trauma off of my fragile, porcelain skin. It doesn't, though. I stare through the curtain of water and steam that's filling the room, but my focus isn't on anything in particular. Instead I'm … Continue reading Fraud →

Faithless

I'm mad at God right now. Or maybe He's mad at me, cause its been pretty fucking silent on the other side for quite some time. I got in my car, drove for hours last night, screamed at Him until my voice gave out and then cried out noises that broke my own heart. Why … Continue reading Faithless →