Opaque

[Repost] Sometimes I feel like I live in a glass house with opaque walls. From a distance, it's just a blur of whatever this house contains, But come closer and you'll make out what's happening inside. My life is both hidden in plain view and vividly on display. I both hate it and beg for … Continue reading Opaque →

Sink Not Swim

Swim in the sad, hold your breath, see how far you sink before the air leaves you too; miserable bitch.

I Think I Cried Wolf One Too Many Times

It feels like I'm reaching out, grasping at everything I touch, begging everyone to stick around no matter how much they're hurting me. (Or maybe I'm hurting them.) I feel manic in my head, total mess, unhinged or unglued at the core, just begging the lights inside my skull to turn off so I can … Continue reading I Think I Cried Wolf One Too Many Times →

One Phone Call and Suddenly My Life Is So Fragile

Right now, I'm laying next to a man who has shown me more love in a few months than I've experienced my entire life-- and I'm still fighting back tears. I regret answering the phone and asking the questions I did because this life seems so much shorter now-- and I'm drowning in the fears. … Continue reading One Phone Call and Suddenly My Life Is So Fragile →

This is Why Overthinkers Shouldn’t Be Up at 1 A.M.

I think I've done that thing again; where I break my own damn heart, searching for "A-ha!" moments, and ruminating on painful thoughts. Is this an In-My-Head thing? Or a red flag? I'm just not sure where to go from here...

Old Mindset

One simple thing, presumably innocent, and I am right back in an old mindset. Maybe I'm not as secure as I thought. Maybe it's intuition or maybe it's fear. I don't know. All I know is I'm too unbelievably lost inside my head tonight.

The Constant Struggle

The man I'm dating made a comment about how we could get in shape together and all I thought is, "He thinks I'm fat." I hate how my brain easily thinks like that. I know he cherishes me as I am, in this body I am currently in; He goes above and beyond to remind … Continue reading The Constant Struggle →

Monster, Monster

I told someone a little about you, the things you used to do, and once again I forgot it wasn't normal. It made me wonder if you ever do think about those things too; if you feel guilty for losing your morals. Do you think of how you grabbed my wrist out of anger and … Continue reading Monster, Monster →

Should The Dark Outweigh The Light…

Hostage in my own head, tormented by the trauma I run from. Drowning in fear, bleeding out heartbreak; the false smile I wear fools everyone. Hands around my throat, suffocating the light in me. Slipping into dissociation, reveling in hollowness; the pain might consume me whole. Death knocks on the door, tendency begs for another … Continue reading Should The Dark Outweigh The Light… →

Symptomatic

I was fine. I was fine and then I heard an unfamiliar noise and I couldn't tell where it was coming from, and the first thought that came to mind was How did he find me here? Twenty-three steps between me and safety. I was fine and then I wasn't and I was scared of … Continue reading Symptomatic →