I’m good at getting lost inside my head,
convincing myself of untruths others spew;
that I’m not pretty enough, thin enough, good enough.
That I’m too much at times I shouldn’t be,
or I get excited over the dumbest things.
I get hurt by the comments I’m too passionate,
that no one cares about what I care about.
I replay conversations and moments,
the ones that cut deep,
over and over again;
searching for the key to unlock the closure I need
and let me get out of the turmoil upstairs.
But, I’ve come to a revelation today,
at least I think that’s what you call it.
I’ve realized it doesn’t matter what’s said
or what others think about my life.
I am the one inside this body.
I am the one living this life.
No more will I worry about their thoughts,
or try to make another want to keep me around.
I cannot make someone want me,
or love me,
or value me the way I deserve to be
when they simply don’t.
if he or she or they don’t see my worth,
I don’t want them around in the first place.