Revelation

I’m good at getting lost inside my head,

convincing myself of untruths others spew;

that I’m not pretty enough, thin enough, good enough.

That I’m too much at times I shouldn’t be,

or I get excited over the dumbest things.

I get hurt by the comments I’m too passionate,

that no one cares about what I care about.

I replay conversations and moments,

the ones that cut deep,

over and over again;

searching for the key to unlock the closure I need

and let me get out of the turmoil upstairs.

But, I’ve come to a revelation today,

at least I think that’s what you call it.

I’ve realized it doesn’t matter what’s said

or what others think about my life.

I am the one inside this body.

I am the one living this life.

No more will I worry about their thoughts,

or try to make another want to keep me around.

I cannot make someone want me,

or love me,

or value me the way I deserve to be

when they simply don’t.

And honestly,

if he or she or they don’t see my worth,

I don’t want them around in the first place.